THAT GENERATES PUNS FOR YOU AND YOU CAN LOOK UP VIA A WORD OR PHRASE.
CHECK IT OUT, IVE BEEN LAUGHING AT IT FOR HOURS.
DAMN it why would you SHARE this with people FUCK
Not like you two need help with making puns.
Natharai was working late into the evening, his meager office sequestered away in the corner of his modest warehouse lit only by a single oil lamp. Inventory was taken, his listings updated and carefully collated, and pictures were taken to be sent away to various buyers. However, one required a little more digging to find a few suitable specimens…
To his right was an open letter, bearing the elegant penmanship of a mysterious elf he had the debatable fortune of happening upon the winding roads of Duskwood. It read:
Mister Ebonrook: I do hope this letter finds you in good health. I wished to let you know that I think I have found something that might capture your interest. Do let me know if you would like to meet to go over business?
Sincerely Yours, Safrona, Courier
Surely not everything he would show her would be among his most prized, but what he had to offer would be just enough to, hopefully, whet her appetite. What Natharai did, like nearly everything else in his life, was questionable at best. When war has toppled several proud nations, scattered so many people to the winds, he was one of the many vultures who would pick away at the scraps.
Treasured belongings and memorabilia among the working class were among his most common finds: An engraved wedding ring here, a family portrait there. Yet all of those he identified, and the interested party can give some proof of ownership, he would give to them for only a modest finder’s fee. That was emotionally rewarding, of course, but it could not pay the bills.
Anything else that was of at least moderate monetary worth was squirreled away and priced out to the highest bidder. The art and antiquities trade is, politely speaking, little better than a black market and so many items that have passed through the warehouse’s threshold should have rightfully gone to a museum instead of another’s private collection. It is a sad thing indeed that the world cannot run on charity and good will alone…
A portfolio was eventually put together, containing a letter, a shopping list write-up of the offered goods, and more detailed write-ups with photographs in a thin leather-bound book. While the note to him was left with Barkeep Hann at the Scarlet Raven, a response of this nature would ultimately have to find its way into this “Watcher Darrow’s” hands. As well-warded as this place was against potential thieves, he wanted to minimize the chance of attempted burglary as much as possible.
The correspondence between Natharai and the mysterious Courier read as followed:
Dear Lady Safrona,
Firstly, allow me to say how elated I am to place a name with your otherwise cowled countenance; It is far more preferable to me to refer to you by a name, even if it runs the risk of being falsified, than simply calling you “The Courier”.
Nonetheless, I am pleased to hear that you may have located an item of my liking. In return, please refer to the second page of this letter for a cursory look at a handful of wares that I feel might be within your scope of interest. If you wish for a more detailed “rundown” then you may find that within the booklet I have enclosed.
I trust that you will find at least a single item of your liking here, but if you wish for a broader scope of my collection then I will be happy to oblige.
If you have any further questions, feel free to reach out to me and I will do what I can to make our future transaction a smooth one.
PS: I believe you mentioned that you also deal in vintage alcohol. If that is the case, I am very much interested in what you have to offer. Red wines and well-aged liquors like brandy and scotch whiskey are among my favorites.
The next page read:
Art & Sculpture
- “Birth of a Martyr” / Ludovico Tessarossa / c. 472 KC * / Lordaeron / Oil on canvas / Good condition, moderate damage (water exposure).
- “Blue Moon” / Arnaud Lighthaven / c. 498 KC / Lordaeron / Watercolor on canvas / Excellent condition, mild wear and tear around edges.
- “Chorus ex Capris” / Meriwether J. Moorehouse / c. 601 KC / Gilneas / Oil on canvas / Pristine condition, still in gilt decorative frame.
- “Devil’s Due, The” / Colin Faraday / c. 598 KC / Alterac / Oil on canvas / Excellent condition, was in private collection and has undergone restoration.
- “Forest of Thorns, The” / Alvin Holbrook / c. 543 KC / Gilneas / Oil on canvas / Excellent condition, some light water damage.
- “Heather Fields, The” / Maxwell Strongbow / c. 575 KC / Stromgarde / Watercolor on board / Moderate condition, water damage.
- “Only the Penitent” / John Cornell / c. 596 KC / Lordaeron / Marble carving - 20 x 20 x 35 in. / A robed man knelt in prayer, hands clasped and raised before him / Moderate condition, missing item. According to documentation regarding this piece, there was an ornate golden halo fastened against the praying man’s head. Statue otherwise pristine.
- “Song of the Light” / Miriam Lavender / c. 605 KC / Lordaeron / Oil on canvas / Excellent condition, some wear and tear around edges.
- Unknown / Unknown, presumed to be Colin Sharp / Unknown, presumed to be early 600’s / Unknown, likely Gilneas / Gouache on canvas / Pristine condition, still in decorative frame.
- Unknown / Unknown, presumed to be Salayn Dawnblood / Unknown, presumed to be mid 500’s / Unknown, likely southern Quel’thalas / Oil on canvas / Poor condition; Picture still visible, heavy elemental damage, gouge on upper right-hand side.
- Unknown / Unknown / Marble carving – 8 x 8 x 24 in. / Free-standing nude statue of a maiden, a cornucopia filled with harvest fruits at her feet. / Moderate condition, left arm missing.
Jewelry / Gemstones
- Opal / 203 ct. (40.6 g) / Setting: 18 carat (75%) palladium necklet with diamonds.
- Opal, Black / 500 ct. (100 g)
- Opal, Fire / 215.9 ct. (43.2 g)
- Pearl, White / 282 ct. (56.4 g) / Natural blister, baroque style
- Ruby, Star / 80 ct. (16g) / Oval cabochon
- Sapphire / 175.3 ct. (35.1g) / Cushion-cut / Setting: 24ct. gold brooch, surrounded by 10 cut diamonds.
• • • • • • • • • • • • •
* King’s Calendar = 592 for Year 0 in WoW
The Alliance Medical Association is proud to announce its first guest speaker will be Dr. Ellister Thorley on Wednesday, September 3 at 6pm server time (6pm Pacific, 7pm Mountain, 8pm Central, 9pm Eastern) on the Wyrmrest Accord server. The event is held in Ironforge in the Hall of Explorers, right in front of the museum. It will be cross-realm compatible, so any rpers from Moon Guard and other connected realms will be able to walk up to listen and participate!
This week’s topic will be "Managing the Worgen Patient," and will cover such points as the anatomy of worgen, common ailments, treatment peculiarities, and issues with treating worgen. People are encouraged to attend and share their own experiences with or as worgen in a medical context for a period of story sharing after the lecture. This week Apprentice Grauenvoll will assume the role of host, which is to say he’ll spend much less time
Alliance Medical Association is a recurring, twice-monthly event held every other Wednesday on the Wyrmrest Accord server. At each meeting we hope to present new, unique interpretations of medicine and healing on Azeroth through lectures and interactive events. If you have any questions about the event try taking a look at our FAQ page.
See you there!
A familiar perpetually apathetic courier showed up to the Thorley-Dyce household with a manila envelope in hand. After the quick, but cordial, greeting and mandatory signature signing, the parcel was handed off and the dwarf went on his not-so-merry way to deliver the rest of the afternoon’s mail.
Within the envelope, which bore writing that was likely painfully familiar to the duo by this point, Ellister could find a letter on top of a folder. It read:
Dear Dr. Thorley,
Per my promise given to you the last time we spoke, I have submitted my letter of recommendation to the Ironforge Healer’s Institute in a prompt fashion. That said, I have taken the liberty on providing you a copy of what was sent as well as a second neutral letter to be used at any other future sources of potential employment. However, I truly hope that this secondary copy will not be needed.
I humbly request any news on whether or not you are awarded the position, as a celebratory or consolation cup of brandy would be in order. I wish you the best of luck, doctor, though I am sure you will not need it.
As the letter promised, the folder did indeed hold two recommendation letters. The one that was the obvious copy (as the addressee was duplicated as well for posterity’s sake) was the first one presented. It read:
Ironforge Healer’s Institute
c/o Sturm Stoneforge
11 Granite Way
Ironforge, Dun Morogh
Dear Mr. Stoneforge,
I am writing on behalf of Dr. Ellister Thorley regarding the teaching position within your institute’s Non-Traditional department. While I have been acquainted with Dr. Thorley for almost a year’s time now, he has been my acting physician for approximately five months.
As I have been afflicted with what appears to be an unknown degenerative disease, I am sure that I need not go on about just how much of a trial it is to find help – much less understand what is taking place. Dr. Thorley has risen to the occasion, and then some, in working to uncover the roots of the problem with confidence, professionalism, and sympathetic understanding.
From my limited time of working with him, I can safely say that a unique challenge such as this does not deter him even though it does not fall within his immediate scope of medicine. While I will admit to initially having some doubts about an orthopedic surgeon tackling an issue that exists on a molecular level, his performance quickly put that to rest as I firmly believe not even a practiced chemist could achieve such astounding results.
For the first time in what seems to be forever, I have been given hope. Due to Dr. Thorley’s assistance and brilliance, I believe I actually have a chance of pulling through this ordeal of mine. So, with that, I cannot recommend him enough for this position and I wholeheartedly believe that you would be doing your institute a disservice if you did not award him with this position.
If you require a meeting in person, or if you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me.
A couple of months ago I was talking to the ineffably lovely gingercatsneeze about Dishonored and the characters turning into animals. Following that, she did up these lovely animations. They take my breath away.
Posted with permission of the artist.